Save the children.

I have come to the conclusion that society is inherently mean. It’s not an in-your-face mean, but a subtle, gnawing mean. Let me give you an example:

Woman is raped. Woman’s rape is reported by the media. Woman is discovered to have been clubbing in the early hours of the morning, wearing a short skirt and wandering the streets inebriated and alone. Society will shake their heads in unison: “Vicious vile rapist! He’s scum, he is; I hope he gets castrated…” And everybody has a good ol’ moment talking about what a monstrous man would do such a thing.

“… But, being out in the middle of the night alone, half-naked and drunk? She was asking for it, wasn’t she?”

And there it goes. The crucial “but” where they can subtly attack the victim in order to shift the blame onto a victim who has already suffered enough from their mistake. Instead of concentrating on the person truly at fault – the rapist – society are quick to reprimand the victim. It’s quite an interesting psychological phenomenon – why do people exchange empathy for blame? Is it to balance the universe? To ensure that all their condolences are matched with criticism?

The reason I bring this up, is because I’ve noticed the blame brigade at full force on various discussion forums in the past few weeks. Madeleine McCann is a four-year-old British toddler who was taken from her room in Portugal, over two weeks ago. Her parents left her, and their two other children, there whilst they had dinner yards away, checking on them every half an hour or so.

And in come the pious parents. “I would NEVER leave my child alone like that, oh no. I tie them to me with a piece of string just to make sure they’re protected from the paedophiles and perverts hiding under their beds. How irresponsible and terrible of them! As a parent I just cannot understand why they would do such an evil thing!”

Well done, you procreated; you are the epitome of parenthood.

It’s ridiculous. I’ve seen parents go crazy on forums, taking digs at the McCanns, asking for their arrest and for their remaining twins to be taken from them and placed in social care. Aside from the fact that doing so would tear apart an already ruptured family, the comments just reek of superiority and lack any sense of empathy. Some are acting as though every time a child is left alone, they'll spontaneously combust.

There are moments in the lives of every parent where their back is turned and their child falls, or burns themselves, or drinks glue, or is lost in the crowd for a second. Just because the chances are rare that someone will climb into a child's bedroom window and take them while their parents aren't there, doesn't mean that the lucky ones are the perfect parents.

The crime was committed by someone who probably would have got Madeleine anyway. At the beach, while her mother turned her back, or during some other, more opportune, moment. It is the ABDUCTOR’S fault. It is ENTIRELY their fault.

Enough of rubbing the wounds with salt. People make mistakes. People have regrets. A few unlucky people will make a mistake that they will never stop regretting, with hindsight forever haunting them. Being told they made a mistake is neither enlightening nor helpful.

And if people can't muster up any compassion and still feel angry or certain that Madeleine was mistreated in some way, then I hope they direct their emotion towards something more constructive than a smug sense of blame.

I can only urge such people to have a look at the work of these charities and see if there's an issue they can campaign for instead of engaging in idle judgement.

http://www.barnardos.org.uk/

http://www.childline.org.uk/

http://www.nspcc.org.uk/

http://www.gosh.org/

https://www.worldvision.org.uk/

http://www.unicef.org.uk/

http://www.savethechildren.org.uk/

http://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/

If these causes don't tug at any heart strings, then there are hundreds more small charities for children set up in the UK. Do a quick web search, pick a few charities and drop them an email to ask how your money or time may help children escape a terrible fate.